Coronavirus Diary – Page 8 (Explosion of emotions)

During the lockdown I have had so many different emotions going on inside my head. The other day somebody on TV said that her emotions during the lockdown had been really extreme. She said she has been really up or really down, there has been no middle ground. I didn’t realise until then, but I have been feeling exactly the same. Some days I have been feeling really down and depressed, and other days I have been laughing hysterically. Some days I have even managed to do both.

I heard once that there is a fine line between laughter and crying. At first I didn’t really understood how this was possible. To me they have always been the two opposite ends of the scale. Extreme happiness and extreme sadness. They are miles apart from each other. I didn’t understand how people can cry when they are happy until I was in hospital years ago. I was reading my get well cards and messages and I felt so overwhelmed with love that I cried. So over the years I have started to understand how happiness can make you cry, but I still hadn’t experienced the link between laughter and crying until this week. I have heard people say that they are not sure whether they are laughing or crying, but I think this is usually when they start crying and then somebody makes them laugh, to cheer them up. So I kind of understood that. That did happen to me a few days ago.

However last night I ended up doing it the other way round. I was on the phone to my boyfriend at the time. We have been having the most ridiculously silly and random conversations while the lockdown has been going on. About two weeks ago he phoned me and he coughed a little, so I said he had a frog in his throat, his response was ribbit ribbit. Since then we have been making frog jokes and ribbiting to each other. For some strange reason we both still find it hilarious! Other than lockdown madness, neither of us really understand why we both still find it so funny. Last night we were on the phone for ages attempting to have a normal, human conversation, but every few minutes it reverted back to frog. There’s a certain way he says ribbit which just sets me off in hysterics for ages. In fact most of that call was just him listening to me laughing. I was laughing so much for so long that I actually started crying! It was such a strange feeling, but afterwards I felt so relaxed and clear headed.

Whether it’s laughing or crying, it is all a release of tension, stress and anxiety. A release of emotions that need to come out. Both are a physical way of releasing these feelings. You are all going to think that I am absolutely bonkers after reading this, but all I can say is, these are strange times and talking in frog rules! I do think that we should maybe practice at being normal though for when we can go out into the world again. Otherwise we are going to get some very funny looks.

Ribbit ribbit! 😀 😀 😀 xx ❤ xx

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