The Waiting Game

So here I am again, playing the waiting game. Waiting for help with my mental health. A few months ago now I contracted my local mental health service, who were absolutely USELESS! Such a contrast to last time. I know that they are completely run off their feet at the moment, but they haven’t treat…

Mood Swings and Roundabouts (They are more than just swings!)

When I first started to struggle with my PTSD (Post traumatic stress disorder) two years ago, I realised that my moods were very up and down. Some days I’d be really happy and bubbly, others I’d be quite stressed and then others I’d be quite down. Some days I’d just feel completely drained and washed…

Her – The Dark Side of My Mind

For years now I have been in a battle with Her, the dark side of my mind. The side of my mind that is full of negative thoughts. Throughout this time I have thought of this side of me a bit like a different person, like an evil twin. There’s the real me and then…

How to Feel a Virtual Hug

Since the pandemic started last year, a hug is something that I don’t think any of us will take for granted again. We used to be able to hug complete strangers at new year and now we can’t even hug our loved ones. This is one of the things that I have struggled with the…

Coronavirus Diary – Page 14 (Social chaos)

This week I was supposed to be on holiday in sunny Spain. Because of Covid -19 this hasn’t happened and it is not likely to happen any time soon. Even though we were not going away, me and my family decided to try and have a few days out together. Yesterday we decided to go…

Understanding and Accepting My Mind

The other day somebody on TV was talking about her mental health and how she has learned to own how she feels and accept the bad days. This got me thinking about my mental health and how in January this year I thought that my PTSD (Post traumatic stress disorder) had been cured forever. It…

Hey PTSD, You’re back!

Going into the lockdown my post traumatic stress disorder (PTSD) has started to show it’s ugly mug again. The trauma I experienced was seven years ago. I spent three months in hospital and was in and out of critical care three times. I am obviously really thankful for this, because it saved my life. But…

Coronavirus Diary – Page 13 (Feeling slightly normal)

Today was the first day that I have had a proper day out since the end of March. I haven’t been shielding, but I haven’t had work to go to, so I have been stuck in the house for a long time. I do have a few serious medical conditions, so I have been trying…

Coronavirus Diary – Page 12 (Almost there)

Today the announcement was finally made that England would be easing the lockdown even further. It’s very complicated, but in some ways things should start to feel more normal soon. In other ways they will not feel normal at all because of all the social distancing measures that have been put in place. From July…

Coronavirus Diary – Page 5 (Staying mentally well)

As you may have read on some of my previous posts, I have been really struggling mentally with the lockdown. I know that this isn’t easy for anyone, but when you have difficulties with your mental health, or even if you have in the past, then this is an extremely overwhelming time. I would just…