The Waiting Game

So here I am again, playing the waiting game. Waiting for help with my mental health. A few months ago now I contracted my local mental health service, who were absolutely USELESS! Such a contrast to last time. I know that they are completely run off their feet at the moment, but they haven’t treat…

Mood Swings and Roundabouts (They are more than just swings!)

When I first started to struggle with my PTSD (Post traumatic stress disorder) two years ago, I realised that my moods were very up and down. Some days I’d be really happy and bubbly, others I’d be quite stressed and then others I’d be quite down. Some days I’d just feel completely drained and washed…

Her – The Dark Side of My Mind

For years now I have been in a battle with Her, the dark side of my mind. The side of my mind that is full of negative thoughts. Throughout this time I have thought of this side of me a bit like a different person, like an evil twin. There’s the real me and then…

Coronavirus Diary – Page 15 (New Year, New Lockdown)

I should really start this post by saying Happy New Year, but I’m really not feeling it this year. Obviously I really hope that you do all have a great new year, but I’m not feeling so optimistic. Every new year’s eve I send everybody a text at midnight to wish them happy new year,…

How to Feel a Virtual Hug

Since the pandemic started last year, a hug is something that I don’t think any of us will take for granted again. We used to be able to hug complete strangers at new year and now we can’t even hug our loved ones. This is one of the things that I have struggled with the…

Discovering Video Calling

Over the past few months video calls seem to have taken over just about everything. Calling friends, work meetings, TV shows, hospital appointments, they are all being done over a video call. It seems to be the safest way to see other people. We haven’t been able to meet in person because of Covid-19, so…

Understanding and Accepting My Mind

The other day somebody on TV was talking about her mental health and how she has learned to own how she feels and accept the bad days. This got me thinking about my mental health and how in January this year I thought that my PTSD (Post traumatic stress disorder) had been cured forever. It…

Hey PTSD, You’re back!

Going into the lockdown my post traumatic stress disorder (PTSD) has started to show it’s ugly mug again. The trauma I experienced was seven years ago. I spent three months in hospital and was in and out of critical care three times. I am obviously really thankful for this, because it saved my life. But…

Coronavirus Diary – Page 10 (Looking to the future)

A few friends have been asking me what I am looking forward to when the lockdown is over. The truth is, just normal every day life. I want that back so much, but here is a list of things that I can’t wait to get back. Freedom – I can’t wait to be able to…

Coronavirus Diary – Page 5 (Staying mentally well)

As you may have read on some of my previous posts, I have been really struggling mentally with the lockdown. I know that this isn’t easy for anyone, but when you have difficulties with your mental health, or even if you have in the past, then this is an extremely overwhelming time. I would just…