I was desperately trying to avoid this subject because I think we all need a bit of a break, but the events of the last few days have lead me to think about nothing else. It is nothing like anything that we have ever experienced before. So I thought it would be good to document it. This year will definitely be one for the history books.

For quite a few months now the world has been dealing with Coronavirus (COVID-19). it can be quite mild, but it can also be very dangerous, and it is spreading fast. To start with for me, it was just one of those things that they had in another country. It was truly awful, but it didn’t really effect me. It started spreading to other countries and I was slightly more concerned, but it was still at the other side of the world. And now it’s here, we have it in the UK. Again though I wasn’t very concerned to start with because it was only a few people. Every single day though, the number of cases and deaths are rising rapidly. This is a very scary and sad thought. The scariest thing is, you can be passing it on to other people before you have any symptoms of it yourself. This has made me really quite suspicious of people when I am out. Not that they have done anything wrong, but I am always thinking, have you got it? If you have then I might get it. We have been told to stand a metre away from other people and wash our hands a lot. Some people are even wearing masks. It’s a very strange and unsettling time.

Over this week there have been announcements every day from the Prime Minister letting us know of the changes that are being made to our lives. This is to try and control the spread of the virus. Only a matter of days ago we were advised to not travel anywhere unless it was essential. Businesses were all very confused because they hadn’t been told to close, but the public had been told not to go. Now we are at the point where everyone has been told to close. From closing on Friday, everywhere has to stay closed other then things like supermarkets. Not that there is anything worth buying in the supermarkets. One of the first things to run low was toilet roll. Coronavirus doesn’t even give you toilet issues, so why do people need so much? The shelves are emptying so quickly of everything. People are panic buying as if there is going to be a famine. The only thing causing the shortage of food is people being greedy. Shops can’t stock up quick enough.

At first it was just the people who had the virus, or possibly had the virus that had to self isolate. Now it’s everybody, other than the people who have to work. The amazing NHS staff, people who work in supermarkets and delivery drivers. I do understand why they are doing this, but ( really don’t know how we are all going to cope mentally. I am really struggling with the thought of this and we are only a day in. Staying in for more than a few days doesn’t do me any good at all. I need to be out and doing things to keep my mind well. What I really can’t stand the thought of, is that there is no end date to all of this. So I have nothing to work towards. It’s just done when it’s done. We can’t make plans for anything. I doubt we’ll even get on our holiday with the way things are going. I can try and look forward to things, but in a way it feels cruel because I don’t know when they will happen. It doesn’t look like it’s going to be any time soon.

Years ago I spent the majority of my time in the house. I didn’t want to go out or do anything. Over the past seven years I have worked so hard to build up my confidence, make a life for myself and get out there into the big wide world. I can’t let all of that hard work get undone. I also feel like I am being really self centred. We are all going through the same thing and it’s for our own good, it could be so much worse. At least everybody I know is feeling well. But the thought of the next few months really does worry me.

Stay safe and well everyone, physically and mentally. ❤

xx ❤ xx