Coronavirus Diary – Page 6 (Feeling loved and supported)

It’s times like this when we need our friends the most. We need somebody to complain to, we need somebody to try and escape sometimes rubbish reality with, we need somebody to cuddle us and tell us that everything’s going to be OK. The problem is, we can’t have that cuddle, we can actually get in trouble with the police for hugging one of our closest and best friends, or even a partner that we don’t live with. How has it come to this? Obviously I do know, but if somebody had said to me a year ago that life would be like this, I would never have believed them. At the time we need our friends, partners and families the most, in some ways they have never been further away.

Luckily I have amazing friends, real friends who I have known for years. I like to think that nothing will ever come between us, because we have been so close for so long. Some days of the lockdown have been a huge struggle for me and I have been quite down. Talking about how I am feeling has made all the difference. Years ago I never really talked about my feelings, not properly and I ended up in a huge mess because of it. I have learnt from that dark time and now I am open and honest about how I am feeling and how i am dealing with things. This has meant that on the days where I am struggling, my friends and family have been there to pick me back up and try to convince me that all this rubbish will end one day. It hasn’t really worked, it feels like it is just going to linger on forever, but they have helped to cheer me up and given me a few ideas to help myself. A few people have even bought me presents to make me feel better. It really is so lovely and thoughtful of them to do that. They ordered them online and had them delivered straight to me. I’m really touched that they actually spent money on cheering me up, when some of them don’t always have any spare money to spend on things like that.

Over the course of the lockdown my boyfriend and I have been talking on the phone every night. To start with I was really worried that we would run out of things to talk about, because neither of us were going out or doing much, so there might not be much to say. Everything had been going so well and I was really worried that this might be the thing that ruins everything. What if we just drifted apart? He promised me that it wouldn’t happen because neither of us wanted it to, so we wouldn’t let it happen. He said “it’s OK, if we get stuck for things to talk about, we’ll just make things up”. Well we have definitely done that. We have talked about the most strange and random things and it has been so funny. Every night has got stranger and stranger. Some nights I have laughed and smiled so much that my cheeks ached! 😀 I really never thought that was possible with everything that is going on. Whenever I am feeling down, he says silly things to make me laugh and I really love him for that. There have been so many times when he could have told me to stop complaining and get over myself, but he hasn’t, he’s just tried to cheer me up. 🙂

One of my friend’s has been sending me videos of her son which is always making me smile. He is just keeping me updated with what he is doing and showing me his toys. He was even singing happy birthday to me yesterday and it isn’t my birthday until next February. But he was so cute and happy and it really cheered me up. ❤

Small gestures of kindness have always meant a lot to me. A lot has happened over the years and it has made me think about what really is important in life. Things like being thoughtful and supportive really do mean the world to me, and those are the things that are helping me get through this challenging time. If it wasn’t for my friends, family and lovely boyfriend then I would be very lost and lonely. And I really REALLY can’t wait until the day I can give them all a huuuuge hug and hope that we never have to be separated like this again. ❤ ❤ ❤

xx ❤ xx

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